A Formulaic Approach to Love

What creates the perfect relationship? I believe that there are two ways a person can answer this.

The first: Being the same. Being perfectly compatible. These couples do the same things, have the same tastes, and handle themselves in the same way. This type of relationship is often predictable, but remains constant, strong, and often smooth sailing.

The second: Being opposite. “Opposites attract” as they say. These relationships are about give and take. What one person offers, the other receives, and vice versa. This type of relationship thrives off of balance. 

Now, which of these is stronger? Which relationship will last? It’s safe to say that there is no definitive answer. Love isn’t about science. But I believe in the second. Although it is arguably the more difficult route, and the question of “Are we too different?” comes into play, I have always believed that a relationship should be built off of what each person can bring to the table. There’s the idea of “They complete one another.”, theoretically creating 100%. I also disagree with that. Instead, a relationship needs to be 200%. Each partner should bring 100% of their own self to the table. For example, one partner may be quiet and book smart, while the other is loud and street smart. Neither of which are negative attributes, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that they lack the latter, but are simply more driven by certain ones. They can and should still offer 100% to the other person, while still feeling that the other completes them. Where’s the fun in always getting along? How can you strengthen without the tests of compatibility? Compatibility itself is essentially about acceptance and patience. And when placed in the balance, 200 outweighs 100. 

Over Saturation

I will never understand the male fear taking a picture. The most primary example in my life is my ex boyfriend. For the entirety of our relationship, he despised taking photos with me. On the rare occasion that he would allow it, he would insist that I not put it on Facebook, or at the very least not tag him. I had serious difficulty comprehending his point of view. Facebook exists for the very purpose of sharing photos and making connections. In hindsight, there were a lot of things that were off about that relationship, but you know what they say about hindsight.

Now I’m in a new and extremely loving relationship. Words of affirmation are constant. And yet today, after posting a photo of the two of us on Facebook, my boyfriend complained that I “over saturate the Internet” with the two of us. I was incredibly hurt by his comment and in a tantrum went and deleted the photo. The number of photos of the two of us on our profiles since we’ve officially dated is a whopping four. Four pictures! All of which are in a casual and couple-y setting. (i.e. ice skating and Easter) I apologize, Internet, for shoving my relationship in your faces.

But why shouldn’t I? For years, I was the girl first with the hidden relationship and later miserably single, that had to scroll the happy couples of Facebook. I’m proud of my relationship. We’re impossibly happy and beautiful and for once I want to tell the world! 

I deserve it!

Men are such babies, sometimes.

Hobby Lobby

No, not the store. I want you all to lobby for your hobby because I am in desperate need of one. Honestly, I would prefer a job, but we’ve discussed my health issues plenty of times to hopefully understand why I don’t have one. I asked the Internet for a list of feminine hobbies, and they were kind enough to give me 27. 

• Cooking — I would consider this only if I could conjure up some cosmic deal that I never had to clean up the mess that cooking clearly requires
• Ballroom Dancing — A fine idea! Tell me where. Oh, you can’t. I live in small-ish town North Dakota.
• Singing — My boyfriend wants to be a rock star. This is a horrible idea.
• Running/Jogging — Unless something or someone is chasing me, I’ll pass.
  
• Horse riding — Find me a horse, please.
• Reading — This is doable. (I know you’re thinking: FINALLY)
• Learning a foreign language — Sounds like college. No.
• Blogging — Check
• Jewelry making — Yes, the broke girl can afford materials
• Candle making — Messy
  
• Belly Dancing — See Ballroom Dancing
• Painting/Drawing — What I lack in artistic ability trumps what I lack in motivation
• Public Speaking — What? WHY.
• Yoga — Check
• Lap Dancing/Strip Tease —     .
• Knitting — Tried and failed miserably
• Photography — I don’t know why this isn’t #1. Everyone likes to pretend they’re photographers.
• Food Decorating — Requires food and mess
• Gardening — Just no.
• Volunteering — I guess that’s nice.
• Writing — Check
• Pole dancing — What is this list?
• Flower arranging — Gimme some flowers.
• Gym — (Semi) Check
• Swimming — Allergic to chlorine
• Aromatherapy– sounds like what I already do
• Collecting antiques — Okay.

So there’s that. The Internet would like me to do (as a majority) useless womanly things that will probably make a man very happy someday. Yeesh. I guess I’ll read a book.